Pain is a funny thing….it plays with you and over time creates stress and debilitating physical discomfort. In the same breath it can propel you to cry out to the heavens for help, and also question your faith and belief that it will ever come to an end.
I’ve recently been brought to this place. The place of dryness, and hopeless feelings. The place of a very deep valley. I was thinking about things recently, trying to always look at the silver lining. Yes…the pain has changed my life in ways I could not foresee. It changed my job status. It changed my daily routine and human connections, and it has affected my ability to get around. But hey….there’s no alarm clock, I’ve had time to read a lot, and I can catch up on my DVR’d shows and Netflix binge watching while I recuperate and try to heal. But……it’s never on our time table. Just when I was thinking I was turning a corner, a setback.
I’ve had to dig awful deep. Deeper than I thought there was to dig. And then I struck something. A deeper and profound truth. God always buries those way down, and He makes you keep going, despite the difficulty to the place where He can reveal it to you. You see… I know that I believe in the One True God. And I know that I can have the gift of Grace through Christ. This is the Gospel. The Good News! It sets Jesus in my heart and soul and He sends the Spirit to guide me. As important as this Gospel Good News is to the world…and it IS….ultimately I have to preach it to myself daily.
It’s been hard to cut through the darkness of physical pain to do that. But in that daily struggle of reminding myself that Jesus is with me, and God hears me, and this won’t last forever I hope and pray…..God is leading me deeply to the understanding that this relationship with Him is EXCEPTIONALLY, and PROFOUNDLY personal. It’s one on one. It’s Him and me. In my head and heart I thought I knew that. I really did. Didn’t I?
I was listening to a favorite song of mine today and something about the words made me cry. Just cry and sing. Part of the chorus has these words….
‘Cuz He who is in me, Is bigger than I will ever be and I will rise
I think I forgot that if I am a Jesus follower….He is in me.
And He is bigger than my pain.
The last verse goes like this……
But I keep on coming to this place, That I don’t know quite how to face, So I lay down my life in hopes to die, that somehow I might rise.
He comes for me daily….and it is personal.
God’s deepest truths and revelations to us are in and amongst the most difficult days of our lives. In the mire of daily physical pain God is etching on my heart his personal imprint. He created me I know. Every fiber of my being….it was personal that day He created me and whispered the songs of Heaven into my ear before I took my first earthly breath. And it’s personal today, 48 years later.
This Father Creator….the relationship He wants with us is just deeply, deeply PERSONAL.
Thank you Abba Father for teaching me this today. And for giving me words to share it with others. May their hearts be reminded today that you seek them, too, in a very profound and personal way. Amen.